Valium.

Valium. I am thinking our family should all be on Valium or some other benzodiazapine. Unfortunately, benzos are one of the most abused prescription drugs and one of the most addictive. Really, it is a shame that such a pleasantly mood altering drug couldn't be passed out as candy in gas station rest rooms and family kitchens across America. Our family would certainly benefit, as it has been brought to our attention we are a little high strung. This revelation has been pointed out to us by our youngest son, Carson.

Carson doesn't really like to go to bed. He was sent to bed the other night by his dad. After repeatedly coming out with various excuses as to why he couldn't go to bed (and being told he better stay in bed)...Carson peeked around the corner and slowly presented himself with his hands up, palms to the front as if he were stopping traffic and said, "DAD, JUST CALM DOWN! I JUST NEED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND!" It was all we could do to not laugh our heads off. Whenever we disagree with him and his three-year-old wants, HE now tells US to "calm down". 

Carson also doesn't really like to listen much. He came home from daycare one afternoon and in his very upset way told us that his teacher said he wasn't a "good listener". He was devastated. We were shocked! I mean all of our kids are FABULOUS listeners! (coughing fit) So, in an effort to help Teacher Brittany, we invented a game called the "Stop, Look, and Listen Game". The way you play this game is to have Carson walk away from you, then say STOP. When he stops, you go wild, like he just cured cancer. Then say LOOK, and when he looks, wave your arms around like you are hysterically happy! Then the last part is the tricky part....you have to say LISTEN! He will turn his head toward you with his hand cupping his ear just looking to hang on your every word. When he listens, we go berserk with excitement and we crown him a GOOD LISTENER! Well, this game works really great-- AT HOME.

Last night, we took him to Joe Bandido's, his favorite place to eat after McDonald's (of course). He loves chips and salsa and the chocolate truffle we always buy him when we pay for the meal (family tradition). As we exited the restaurant he bolted down the stairs toward the parking lot in the dark. I frantically yelled, "STOP, LOOK, AND LISTEN!!!" Holy crap, after all of the practice he has had he should be an expert listener! My heart sunk as I realized the reaction time it was taking for my brain to get my body moving after him. I caught up to him and grabbed him by his collar, told him he was not a good listener, broke his heart and then took his truffle away from him and ate it! Chocolate also serves as a form of Valium! I call it Mommy Valium!